Your Role as Carer

• Establishing a treatment team
  When searching for a treatment team (therapist, GP, Dietitian etc.), it is important to keep in mind that both you and the person you are caring for feel comfortable. If there appears to be no progress, or your loved is not connecting with their treatment team, maybe a different approach is required or a different therapist/ specialist.

• Carer Support Group or Phone Support
  You may also wish to join a carer support group or access telephone peer support. Find contact numbers by contacting us. Or for further information on EDQ’s Carer Connect Group, click here.

• Support Network
  Consider talking with the important people in your life around ways they can support you and your loved one, and where they can go if they would like more information.

• Talk about your role
  It is helpful to have an open conversation around what support your loved one may find helpful. This will vary depending on the age of your loved one and the stage of recovery they are at. Consider the timing of this conversation and try to make it away from meal times.
• Pick your battles
  Don’t feel you need to respond to every eating disorder occurrence. Choose what’s worth discussing and what’s worth letting go of. Recovery can be a long process and it’s important to maintain relationships and perspective.
• If you make a mistake
  Navigating conversations with a person struggling with an eating disorder can be difficult and frustrating. Don’t be discouraged if you make a mistake or if what you have communicated has not been well received. It’s easy to become emotional and say things you regret. For helpful tips on communication approaches, see Chapter 8 – Communication Styles of Skills-based Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder by Janet Treasure, available for purchase here.
• See also: How to have a conversation

The role of additional ‘social support carers’ may be different than providing meal support.

Often members of extended family (e.g. grandparent) and friends can take on the role of social support. This means doing enjoyable activities with your loved one. Choose things to do that they used to enjoy – away from meals and the stress that goes with eating.

Being preoccupied with enjoyable activities, that help them to feel good about themselves, can be highly valuable for the path to recovery and can reduce isolation.

Eating disorders tend to be very socially isolating and undermining of self-confidence.

Just spending time with people who love and accept them can be helpful.

Siblings have unique relationships with each other and when one of your siblings is living with an eating disorder, it can effect you and your family. 

You may experience a variety of different thoughts and emotions and may feel sad, confused and question what is happening. All of these emotions are normal and it is important to know that you are not alone and that support is available.

You may notice a shift in family dynamics as your sibling receives the emotional and practical support they require with treatment and recovery. This may lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, confusion and sometimes conflict.

Your sibling’s eating disorder may have changed the relationships that you once had and you may have questions about recovery. It is important to know that no one is to blame for the development of an eating disorder, and that recovery for your sibling is possible.

Read More: Visit the Eating Disorders Victoria website for more information and 10 tips on supporting your sibling towards recovery (and looking after yourself). Or, if you would like to discuss your situation in more details, contact Eating Disorders Queensland here, and speak to a Carer Coach.

The Carer Peer Mentor Program follows a strengths based model which utilises a Mentor’s lived experience of caring for someone with an eating disorder and learnt skills to support other carers. The Carer Peer Mentor Program is designed to connect carers who have “walked the walk” (Mentors) with carers who are currently supporting a loved one (Mentee). Carer Mentees may be at the start of their journey, or just in need of a friendly voice, practical support and encouragement.

For further information on EDQ’s Carer Peer Mentor Program, visit here.

It is important to raise awareness about carer fatigue and coping strategies that family members and carers can use for self-support.

Eating Disorders Queensland’s Vodcast on Carer Fatigue:

The Butterfly Foundation has completed research to develop a deeper understanding about the experience of Carers caring for someone with an eating disorder. Read the full report here.